Peril Level Alert: Avocado.

This is the Peril Level Alert for the United Kingdom on


The Avocado Level Peril Alert indicates that the UK is host to an international summit or high-level diplomatic visit of some kind. In particular, the avocado’s properties of a greasy texture, lack of taste and inpenetrable kernels make it a particularly apt symbol to signify an official visit by Donald Rumsfeld.

In such circumstances, you should be aware that the Field of Unreality normally centred around the British Prime Minister intensifies. You may notice the PM develop what he believes to be a scary testosterone waddle and a faintly laughable degree of macho posturing for an anal, nasal public school boy.