Under new rules, you must be classified according to a set of Government benchmarks which help us to not only match you with potential employment but also enable us to oppress you in a much more scientific and matter-of-fact manner.
We need to know: Do you own more reggae albums than is strictly necessary? Is your musky flat the habitat of a limp and feckless layabout? Do you wear the woozy, bloodshot gaze of a concussed spaniel? Do you often feel that youre just being too polite?
Or are you a thrusting and dynamic executive with good breeding and real potential for the island-hopping highlife? Do you ski, jetski, windsurf and fly aircraft? Do you want a job in Her Majestys most exciting Service?