17/10/13 14:32 Filed in: DoSS Guide to Security
While DoSS, GCHQ and the NSA have only just announced their product development cycle for our groundbreaking new software - which has dutifully being collecting and ‘backing-up’ all those bits of sensitive information about you unbidden for the last five years, just in case
- it’s nevertheless a good idea to keep your identity secure from everyone else, apart from us.
It’s good to be vigilant, even suspicious of everything untoward, except for that strange-looking van parked across the road (the one that has blacked out back windows and bears the name of a hitherto unknown utilities company), you don’t need to worry about that at all.
With this in mind, we present you the latest leaflet in our DoSS Guide to Security
: a guide to identity theft. Click the image for a larger version.
17/10/13 12:35 Filed in: DoSS Guide to Security
A Britishperson’s home is his/her castle/castlette: so goes the popular saying, but how true is it? And why isn’t it? To help you answer these questions, the Department have published a leaflet on Home Security, so that you can feel utterly safe in your home, even if predatory stranglers are on your roof, a meth dealer puts a deposit on the semi-detached next door and you become preoccupied with a new methamphetamine clause in your Party Wall Agreement. Police attempts to deal with it are stymied by a concerted attempt to crack down on hopscotch courts in your neighbourhood. Click to enlarge.
17/10/13 11:07 Filed in: DoSS Guide to Security
The Department of Social Scrutiny, through its regulator the Office of Peril Announcements and National Tireless Indefatigability in Extreme Situations (OFFPANTIES), has released the following advisory information in the event of ‘something kicking off’. Click image to see full size.
Our colleagues at the Home Office have issued new guidance to Britons wishing to leave the country – in the shape of our brand new DoSS travel agency, Go Away, your de-immigration resource of last resort! The new brochure is coming soon, but here’s a sneak peek at the cover.
Keep an eye on your text messages over the next few weeks and watch out for the winning SMS, which will contain a strongly-worded invitation to Go Away. Simply reply within 24 hours or await the arrival of the Home Office limousine to whisk you away to a waiting jet where you will experience a lot of potentially concentrated personal attention from our uniformed stewards.
Go Away: Your Holiday Company of Last Resort. ®