The Glorious Postal Service.

Trepanning Post Office is a marvel of modern science with proud traditions of unwavering cleanliness, quality of supplied uniforms, service and efficiency nice hats.

Currently, our operatives are among the cleanest postpeople you will see. Their smart new uniforms and regulation hairstyles set them apart from all other post men and women. We also keep them healthy and fit through our weekend assault course training and extensive psychological profiling and team building exercises.

As a result of these measures, the GPS soon hopes to recover up to 50% of your lost mail and deliver it to someone in, or near, your road. We have instituted a programme of repairs to our old-style curved-time red boxes. This means your mail could reach its destination without much apparent damage being done to it. And our new Quantum Mail: perfect for small packets where q=pxt-(7/12w).*