Massive roundabout product of surveying error.

An enormous roundabout that has obliterated thousands of acres of countryside and an isolated village has been blamed on a surveyor's error tonight.

The village of Trepanning in Cornwall is now half-buried under six hundred thousand tons of tarmac as highway engineers attempt to paint a dotted white line over a large pond.

The mistake first came to light when local resident Ansel Angarrack could not locate the village post office to buy his morning paper from. Mr Angarrack then alerted the Regional Manager of Post Office Counters who launched an immediate investigation as soon as he finished his mid-morning nap.

Other artifacts lost under the roundabout include an ancient stone circle, a mysterious labyrinth structure and a green clipper lighter.

Road contractors Effluvia have denied any responsibility for the error. Nigel Quark, a spokesman unconnected to the contractor in any legal sense but bearing the job description of Effluvia Mouthpiece declined to comment at all, except to insist on the bit about not being connected in any way to the company.

The roundabout was designed to take traffic to and from World in Miniature - the town's one and only tourist attraction. Initially, worries about the super-sized roundabout were dismissed as "an optical illusion because of the proximity of World in Miniature".

Worries resurfaced however, when half the town was demolished to make way for the road.

Further investigations have now revealed a mis-calibrated theodolite was at fault and the surveyors responsible have issued a no-fault apology and a promise to do a little bit better in future.

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