The Department of Social Scrutiny


“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

The Previous Administration

The Previous Administration’s Complete Index is here



Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude

In case of emergency


the counter-counter insurgency

With global alarm spreading over fear, uncertainty and fright, the Department feels that now is the right time to calm the public on financial matters by alerting you to the far larger dangers posed by the War on Terror. The message is: don't panic about your life savings - they almost certainly won't be relevant if you are the victim of unspecified toxic compounds in your water supply or the new HN51 Dirty Chicken Bomb, plans for which were discovered recently in a carefully stage-managed raid on the paramilitary wing of the Poultry Council.

Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on September 30, 08 | 11:25 pm

 Send me feedback/contact me.
 Permanent link to this article
Custom Search

 

"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine

Other stories


How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]

Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]

New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]

HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]

Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]

Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]

Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]

Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]

The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]

"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]

About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]

New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]

K-ID Cards. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]

You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]

The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]

The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]

The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]

Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]

Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]

In Felicity Benefit [Read more]

For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.