Itís fitting that every British pensioner should have information about how the NHS works Ė not least because a senior citizenís topics of conversation traditionally revolve around appalling medical conditions, and how many of their friends have recently died just to spite them.
Indeed, when not holidaying in dismal seaside towns or helping out at the local charity shop, most pensioners like nothing better than a cheery day in a hospital discussing their rheumatoid arthritis and bowel movements with a complete stranger, shortly followed by their consultation with the doctor.
Should you need to go into hospital, you will now need to apply for your bed in advance, for which you must fill in the form above.
"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker
"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine
How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]
Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]
New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]
HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]
Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]
Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]
Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]
Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]
The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]
"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]
About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]
New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]
K-ID Cards. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]
The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]
The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]
The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]
Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]
Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]
In Felicity Benefit [Read more]
For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.