The Department of Social Scrutiny


“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

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Merry Christmas: You're Fired.

The Department of Social Scrutiny has announced new measures to combat depression delivered by the overwhelming power and irresistible brute force of official forms. The new scheme - which seeks to deliver common official communications, but with a lighter touch, has already been piloted in a number of run-down godforsaken areas of the UK such as "The North" and has been declared "a success" in a peer-reviewed academic study by a cash-starved former polytechnic, miraculously saved from closure at the eleventh hour.

New forms - such as the Xm45 (below), the Christmas version of the P-45 - are now set to gather and collate official information in a non-alarming, non-confrontational manner, while spreading seasonal greetings to ameliorate the effects of losing one's job at this special time of year.

Merry Christmas

Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on December 21, 05 | 9:00 am

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"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine

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For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.