The Department of Social Scrutiny

“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

The Previous Administration

The Previous Administration’s Complete Index is here

Blunkett orders his own detainment as ID card law introduced.

imageHome Secretary David Blunkett (left) has placed himself under house arrest on the day he was to introduce Identity (ID) Card legislation into Parliament, it has emerged. The move comes amid allegations of improper conduct by the Minister.

According to smirking Home Office sources, Mr Blunkett's own laws have forced him to sign his arrest warrant, refuse his own Leave to Appeal and order himself to be dragged through a bramble thicket "until a confession is obtained". The abused Minister will then face indefinite detainment without access to sunshine or a lawyer.

This morning's developments follow the news that the Minister's Identity Card legislation was slammed for "not being sufficiently Orwellian enough" by Blunkett himself. He was said to be ready today to introduce a law that is "logarithmically more unreasonable and unswerving in its hatred for everything unBlunkett".

Click here to see this article in Glorious Orwellian Blinkyvision.


Your claim notes.


About You.


Your Ethics.


Your Biometrics.


Your Majesty.


Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on November 29, 04 | 1:49 am

 Send me feedback/contact me.
 Permanent link to this article
Custom Search


"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine

Other stories

How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]

Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]

New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]

HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]

Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]

Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]

Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]

Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]

The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]

"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]

About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]

New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]

K-ID Cards. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]

You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]

The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]

The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]

The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]

Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]

Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]

In Felicity Benefit [Read more]

For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.