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Food safety fears expressed over "Fishish Fingers".

Alan Bladder, the Secretary of State for Digestion, who was last week tipped to rise to the top of the Government Food Chain, has blasted the makers of Cap'n Hermaphrodite's Fishish Fingers for not revealing that their food did not contain any fingers.

Cap'n Hermaphrodite's Fishish Fingers "Fingerless" say critics.

Bladder came out with an extravagant attack on the makers, Fishy Business after a Department of Digestion (DepDig) report found a number of eyelids and other anatomical sweepings, but no fingers. "Fish do not have fingers," added a DepDig spokescientist, "which is why you never see one playing the flute. It's quite simple really."

Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on February 23, 05 | 4:47 pm

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For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.