The Department of Social Scrutiny

“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

The Previous Administration

The Previous Administration’s Complete Index is here

European decimal piano unveiled

Following recent calls for the UK to embrace metrication by former Chancellor of the Exchequer Sir Geoffrey Howe, a British firm has unveiled the world's first ever decimal piano.

The piano, made by Eurotinklers of Nottingham, replaces the traditional eight note octave with a a ten note "dectave". The new DecimalPiano - also known as the 10forte - will be easily recognisable by virtue of its 10 metre keyboard and the words "METRIC PACK" stamped above Middle C.

The ten note dectave is set not only to revolutionize chord nomenclature - C Major will now be known as H0.8, for example - but also the order of the notes themselves. Now that the benefits of decimalization have finally reached the music industry, the metric piano can be so efficiently manufactured that even radical customizations like reversing the key order to right-to-left for the Hebraic market or up-down for the Chinese are much more cost-effective.

The European Music Commission has welcomed the new instrument which, in line with the European Piano Directive, also has all the black notes removed because of fears of racial intolerance. "Richard Clayderman was kilometres ahead of all of us," said EMS Spokesman Enrique Fortissimo, "as he declined to use anything other than the white notes as far back as the 1980s."

Eurotinklers are to unveil the instrument next week.

Leaked by sources close to: Lady Cynthia Knuckles on July 09, 04 | 11:53 am

 Send me feedback/contact me.
 Permanent link to this article
Custom Search


"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine

Other stories

How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]

Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]

New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]

HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]

Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]

Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]

Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]

Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]

The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]

"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]

About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]

New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]

K-ID Cards. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]

You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]

The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]

The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]

The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]

Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]

Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]

In Felicity Benefit [Read more]

For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.