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Queen to get new Identity Card

ID card application for Queen The fourth part of the Government's Identity Card Application Form is now available online and is designed especially for members of the Royal Family.

The new form - About Your Majesty, Ma'am incorporates Dimblebys, a new paper-based method of prostrating yourself at the feet of the Monarch and inviting her to metaphorically kick out your teeth in the most seemly and majestic fashion possible.

The form follows all nine official guidelines for etiquette, plus a number of bootleg niceties including a bonus method of laying Silver Service to seventeen decimal places. This is a technique handed down by the same deportment experts who taught the Royal Family to sit and talk as though they were undergoing a particularly nasty haemorrhoidectomy procedure.

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Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on June 14, 04 | 9:07 am

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Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]

Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]

Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]

The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]

"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]

About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]

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K-ID Cards. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]

You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]

The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]

The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]

The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]

Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]

Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]

Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]

In Felicity Benefit [Read more]

For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.