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Beagle 2 - too "irredeemably British to succeed", according to report.

Report by the European Space Agency into the failure of the Mars Beagle 2 Mission has concluded that the craft was "too British to succeed".

The project, rumoured to be under-funded and poorly managed, astonished Agency chiefs by turning up to the early morning launch at all. But managers were said to be "a little disappointed" when the craft "didn't turn up for work or even phone in sick" after it touched down on the red planet on Christmas Day last year.

ESA Departmental Head, Dirk Porn pointed to what he called "The Henman Effect" to explain the Mission's failings. "The British give it their absolute all right up to the moment before they win. Then they decide that winning isn't very dignified and that 'taking-part' is much more important. Beagle 2 was a failure, but a typically decent and heroic one. They should be proud."

Leaked by sources close to: Sir Edward Bicycle on May 25, 04 | 10:42 am

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