The Department of Social Scrutiny


“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

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Tony Blair and Fathers 4 Justice - the historic analysis.

Tony Blair had a missile of purple flour lobbed at him in Parliament today, but things are still quieter than they used to be - as this excerpt from the archives reveals.

 From the Parliamentary Archives  

Under the “Respect For Your Betters Act, 1846”, Government Ministers are to be regarded as officially exempt from any kind of criticism while they are in a standing position on the Front Bench and concurrently conjecturing, postulating or elucidating for the benefit of all those present. Or about to.

That great institution is now surely under attack.

The legislation was repealed in an untoward haste today during the inestimable Sir Ellis Witherspoon’s controversial address on Telegraphic Unseemliness. An address that started in the Spring of 1848 and has continued until now, December 16, 1849.

The good knight - known by all in the land for his discovery of "Morse Pornography" - was postulating that one day, operators would become so proficient at sending Telegraphic Images of improperly attired pianoforte legs, that an outbreak of unseemliness and immorality would spread throughout the empire, crippling Trade and Business by means of a general torpor instigated by the filth-addled libidos of once-proud gentlefolk. Obviously, said Sir Ellis, dirty women were wholly to blame.

At the end of this passage, Sir Ellis was shot through the lung on a Point of Order and the Respect For Your Betters Act was swiftly repealed. The funeral is tomorrow. No women.

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For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.