John Scarlett, the new head of MI6, has announced his first initiative in the Big Fight With Insurrection, by refusing to pay MI6's growing Business Rates Bill, as levied by Lambeth Borough Council.
Lambeth, who have been locked in a dispute with the secret agency since they occupied the building, say that none of their letters or final demands are answered and they'll soon have no alternative but to send in the bailliffs.
"It's appalling, but MI6 seem to be able to get away with murder", said Lambeth Finance Director, Guy Falkirk. "They keep hiding behind the curtains whenever our officers call round, which is ridiculous: we know they're in, but they just won't answer the doorbell."
MI6's cloak of secrecy is legendary - officially, the organisation does not exist but their HQ, on London's Vauxhall Bridge has been cited as conclusive proof that "you can never be too sure", according to the recent Government Report There's Nothing To Worry About, Please Continue To Exercise Your Democratic Rights By Participating in Fame Academy. (HMSO 2003)
Lambeth is set to take the organisation to court next month in a landmark case. Fears are now growing that giant hoover hoses will shortly emerge from the twin turrets of the building and vacuum the Borough into a specially adapted 7-dimensional room deep in the bowels of the building. The room was allegedly used in the past as part of an MI6 truth-bending experiment, but was abandoned in 1997 when a new press-briefing room at Number 10 was opened.
An MI6 spokesperson followed us home.
"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker
"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine
How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]
Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]
New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]
HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]
Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]
Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]
Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]
Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]
The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]
"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]
About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]
New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]
K-ID Cards. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]
The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]
The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]
The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]
Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]
Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]
In Felicity Benefit [Read more]
For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.