Opportunity, the NASA Mars Rover, has discovered a new beach on Mars which, according to NASA spokescientist Harvey Weinburger, is "better than the stretch of shoreline we found yesterday - this one appears to be much nearer the sea".
The Rover, unable to find solid evidence of life, moved to a new location further up the beach this morning, where earlier orbiting craft had taken the now famous - and controversial - pictures of what ufologists claim are clear signs of a pier, amusement arcades and a promenade.
The features, now dubbed "Weston-Super-Mars" by enthusiasts, were written off by NASA as rock formations, while Project Co-Lead Hydrologist Harry 'Hutch' T Jefferson III pointed out that the discovery of a small English seaside town on Mars would still not prove the existence of life.
NASA scientists first became excited last night when Opportunity reported it had discovered an unknown Californian probe driving along the ancient beach with what appeared to be a surf board strapped to its roof. But the discovery of a small saloon car was tempered when it did not contain an arguing family or any evidence of a picnic.
Jefferson said later, "It's the seaside, but not as we know it".
"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker
"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine
How to protect your data (from us) [Read more]
Peril Level Alert advice in light of Global Alarm Attitude [Read more]
New DoSS Guide: New Labour, New Pregnancy [Read more]
HMRC Security Breach: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself From Us [Read more]
Frequently Asked FAQs [Read more]
Ministry of Truth and Other Information Takes Over Education [Read more]
Identity Cards: Part 3 - Biometric data. [Read more]
Your Money and Your Life - Part 2 [Read more]
The Notwork Rail guide to your railway station. [Read more]
"Keep All Your Old Skin in a Jar", Says Biometric Fraud Tsar. [Read more]
About Your Habitat - Identity Card Application Part 6 [Read more]
New magazine goes on sale to encourage "self-expression" [Read more]
K-ID Cards. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Proposals Outlined [Read more]
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. [Read more]
The DoSS Guide to the National Health Service [Read more]
The DoSS Local Election Guide [Read more]
The Pensioner Appraisal Programme [Read more]
Habeas Corpus 2006 [Read more]
Kids' Identity Theft Counter-Measures Roll Out. [Read more]
Child Identity Theft Prompts New ID Strategy [Read more]
In Felicity Benefit [Read more]
For a complete listing of DoSS, all the way back to 2004, visit The Archive.