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TAKE THE MYWAY CODE THEORY TEST

The new Highway Code or the Real Rules of the Road?

Like the Highway Code, the Myway Code's theory test takes place in an unmarked Seventies building identifiable by the amount of people feverishly smoking on the pavement outside it. You should take your passport, provisional driving licence and a letter from your mum explaining that you haven’t ingested any cough mixture during the previous twenty-four hours.

Alternatively, you can start it here and then finish it off in the The Myway Code. Every copy has a 14 page, 50 question theory test in the back.

Can you pass the test?

Myway or Highway Code?Are you:
A Pedestrian.
A Cyclist.
A Motorist.
A White Van Man.

Why must you reduce your speed when driving in snow?
Because everything is so pretty.
Because it’s Christmas and Jesus says so.
Because the gritter lorry in front of you is about to
       break down.
Because if I say I will, I stand more chance of passing
       this theory test and all you bureaufascists will
       let me out onto the roads.

Explain the purpose of the following road markings?

The white line painters at the local council are all having nervous breakdowns and will be sent home to
       chevron their lounges.
It is part of an intergalactic Tetris-like game and we are all the unwitting pawns of a higher civilization.
A TV prank show has come up with a ridiculously unsafe method of getting people across the road,
       based as it is on principles of courtesy, patience and other medieval notions.
I find, as I get older, very few things have any real purpose at all.

You are towing a caravan. You should:
Ask yourself how it could have come to this.
Stop and pull over whenever a vehicle is forced to slow down behind you out of a sense of
       personal shame.
Not allow yourself to get excited by things like awnings.
Probably have an affair.

A wheelchair user is waiting to cross at a Zebra Crossing What should you do?
Wave cheerily as you pass them as it brightens their blighted life.
Drive around the back of their chair and push it across the road with your car.
Stop and ask them to sign your copy of A Brief History of Time.
Tell them that you have seen Reach for the Sky and therefore understand them.

Which of the following environmental statements is true?
A car uses less fuel on an urban cycle because it only uses two wheels and never stops at traffic lights.
Biodiesel is made from decomposing oil company executives.
Electric cars will never become popular until that joke about extension leads is told another four billion
       times.
Even a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step – usually off public transport and straight
       into a car.

 

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