Money and finance

Freedom From Your Money

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"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine

 

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Currency
The Pound fell sharply today, along with all other major currencies as traders suddenly realised it was all a pointless and unproductive sham

Shares
The Square Mile contracted slightly on news that the Governor of the Bank Of England was considering raising interest rates "for a laugh", then recovered its composure and ended expanding by 6 to a new area of 2148.539 hectares.

Medium Term Outlook
All wrong.