The Department of Social Scrutiny


“ your statutory rights are non-effective ”

It's deadline day, not flatline day.

Advertisement Feature

You know how it is.

It's going to be a busy day, your boss wants that Investors in People report on his desk by 10.00 tonight or it's bye-bye payrise and Hello Dolé.

You can't afford to be a vegetable today. After all, you don't work in the call centre any more.

In short, you've got a deadline and a flatline won't do.

Lucky for you that there's new formula COMASIP Intravenous Edition, a dizzying cocktail of ethically unsound chemicals and voodoo preparations designed to let you get on with your day - even if you are clinically deceased.


Just Add Saline

Simply leave instructions for your next-of-kin to sprinkle a sachet into your drip and wait for re-animation to occur. In no time you'll be back to work with absolutely no side effects*.

*Some dizziness, projectile vomiting and a kitten-like fascination with bright lights may occur. After two weeks, your colleagues may notice a faint aroma and persistent peripheral-vision hallucinations of a tall, hooded figure in black carrying a scythe.



 

Posted by: Sir Edward Bicycle on November 22, 04 | 12:40 pm |

"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny. Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker

"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine


 

 

 

Related entries


British Table Manners - Part I: The Specialist Cutlery Guide