A new User's Guide to Britain is in preparation by the Department of Social Scrutiny following the DoSS takeover of all official government publications.
Disgruntled employees of Her Majesty's Stationery Office walked out in disgust yesterday, brandishing vellum placards, while their colleagues at the Office of National Statistics were left with nothing to quantify, analyze or lie about anymore.
The User's Guide to Britain
The Department of Social Scrutiny's guide to your entire life in Britain. Includes all necessary tax and identity card application forms and a full guide to the British public transport system, as officially sanctioned by Notwork Rail.
Plus: New retirement guide "Are You Alright, Dear", handy graduated tea strength colour matching chart and official guidelines for the consumption of cake, biscuits and other snacks served at ambient room temperature.
"Thank God: a book that's both clever and funny.
Deserves a place on the lap of every comedy fan in Britain." Charlie Brooker
"If you wince at the word 'benchmark', this neat parody could be just the thing to cheer you up." Sunday Telegraph Magazine
Big Brother wins contract for Iraqi dispute resolution
BNP announce "we hate everyone".
Britain swelters in heatwave as transit of Venus fails to provide any shade.
European decimal piano unveiled
Government denies subliminal advertising to Bank Holiday traffic.
Government health chief: transit of Venus not safe to watch, "even on TV".
Introducing the Red Tape Recorder
World's largest animated gif woos London crowds.
Do you have a horrifying tale of mean-spirited paper-pushing bureaucracy at the hands of a company, council or government department? We'd like to hear about it. [Tell us more]